work work work! haha. well, that's wat you gotta do in life rite? after your studies, you get a job and earn money for life! well, isn't tat the motive for us in life? to earn enough money for urself and soon enough to raise a family! how fun. haha. hmmm, but its not at all easy (who said it was??), the ppl you meet, the type of job u have. the environement! everything plays apart. well, i cant agree more with what you have is what you get! WELL, that's tru. If you work hard, you get better pay, if you are lazy, then your pay's a minute amount! ok. so that's about what's life all about!

woah! 3 days of re-occuring dreams IS weird! i mean. mayb you have the same dream for 2 days but having it for 3 straight days jus puts u in the back seat to wonder why. well, for first, i heard it somewhere, that if ur crazy about smth then it sort of appears in ur dreams, Like if you crave for pizza so badly, you'll end up dreaming that you're having 1. well. mine's kinda like that but not craving for pizza! haha. anyway, its rather cool to dream abt the same dream for a STRAIGHT 3 days! haha. i mean, it never happened to me before. and it always have the same ending! reali reali freaky. well, im goin off to my studio in a few hours time. probably go there and chill. yup. oh. i haven smoked for 3 days ready! n im dying for a stick. haha. but i cant! cos i made a promise to change and i'll stick to that. yup. well. im off now. i tink i'll go look at guitars 1st then i'l go to the studio!

woke up to a weird morning today! had this dream tat i was lookin for guitars and weird thing was i went to every guitar shop in singapore and i couldn't find a single guitar that sold the model tat i wanted! best of all, i went to 1 shop and the whole rack of guitar there was filled with Fenders! and i cant afford fenders. haha. nvm..lucky it was only a dream. haha. so i got up, went toilet and then went back to slp. had another dream, this time it wasnt abt guitars it was abt her. well. this dream was somewhat rather similar to the dreams back then when was crazy abt her. guess i still am. well. i forgive you if ur (that girl) reading this. I forgive you for all ur wrong doings towards me. hmm, well. eleanor, i noe ur rather upset but like i told you before forget about me. im not worth your time as my mind's still with her. yea. well. my blessings goes out to you! good luck, my friend. And as for her, i guess its a matter of time of waiting. its only thursday but the week's coming to an end. well. enough said. i'm not gonna type out too many personal stuffs. yeah. anyway, ytd's practice was reali good. at least the improvement is visible! its now down to the tightness of the band to gain complete feel for the music. yup. tats abt it. go go power rangers.......lalalalalala! PEACE

today was reali reali good! finally i get to go out with her! this was the day tat i longed for, for a very very long time! anyway, met up with her after her trainin. had breakfast, went to the movies and then went all the way to my studio. well. it may seem boring to you but the time that we spent doing all these was worth my time and money. well. i promised her i'd only treat her to a meal but it so happened i treated her to almost everything! haha. be grateful;) well, now i understand why she was so upset with me. well. i do have to agree tat my stubborness does affect my character in many ways and my relationship with friends too. hmm. well, i guess im gonna try to change. probably it'll do me some good. probably it wont. it will all depend. haha. alrite. im serious now! aint jokin abt changing for the better. well, hope that i've proved to you that i'm worthwhile and not the sucker that you thot i'd be. ;) peace.
p.s: i'm feeling so so so much better now :))

so you think you're god-damned better than me? think that everything i say is wrong and you're right? FINE! I'll accept your fucking words for it. It rings loudly in my head that you HATE me! So what if i'm stubborn? at least im fucking willing to listen. Not like you at all. GIRLS KNOW??? haha. bullshit. what do they know?? know about screwin lifes? yea thanks. I knew that too. I said i still loved you and you only said you know? haha...what kind of a reason is that for claimin that you understood? you defenitely don't. well, im glad i cut myself, glad that it reminded me of how a bitch you've been. you were always the one tats right, and i had to always fucking give in so that you'd be happy, but hell no! you never fucking understand. u never understood how tat happiness came about, never realize how the sacrifices has been made jus to make you happy, motherfucker! so glad that now you're not in relationtion to me anymore right? cos i might embarressed you in some fucking way? haha. screw you! and thanks for those last words, screw my life and burn in hell right? Well, its been well screwed asshole and I'm already burning in hell and may my sins be a memory of how you last treated me for the fucking happiness that you wanted bitch! And may you're mum rest in peace. I'm done talking now, jus let me rot in hell cos tats wat I know you're thinkin of right now. And i know you wished you never met me. Im jus glad that death will soon come and I hope it'll be a quick ending so that I can now burn in hell. Just like you wished, BITCH!

i'm seriously caught up between stuffs that's making me sick. I cant think properly and I seriously dunno wat to do. I hate being tied down to situations like this and I cant believe that I've gotten myself into this mess. It's really painful to know so much, I guess that's why people say don't stick your nose into places where it shouldn't be or as the old saying goes, curiosity killed the cat. Well, I'm not killed yet but I'll soon be. It's not that hard figuring it out and I know you readers are tryin to piece this together. Unfortunately, I cant disclose any of it here, all there is to say is that I am quite irritated by the fact that I have to submit in some point of my life just to get the desire that I hunger for. Well, then you may say that I shouldn't crave for such desires and should just be happy with what I have...well, sadly, if I don't do it, then I won't be happy. It's hard to understand, and I never said it would be easy to solve this shit. Well, here's a little hint to what I'm saying(if you're interested), I never got to understand something really important in life, but over the past few days I realize it, only to realize it with a painful experience. That's all. If you think that this doesn't make sense at all after reading all this crap, then I've only got two words for you! FUCK OFF!

today was kinda fun and interestin. 1stly aft the mornin aut programme thing, we went to play street soccer with the christ church students. man the christ church keeper like the shaolin goal keeper. saved almost every shot we shot at him! haha. but we still won in the end! anyway, it started to rain so we had to call it off. then we went to vista pt, draw money n took a cab to causeway! well, here's where the fun begins! we sat at mac at abt 1345 n we left at 1700! ok. so u may think that sittin there for 3hrs 15mins is not fun but it was. well we talked abt personal issues and 1 issue got reali fired up. i cant disclose any of it here as it is PERSONAL but all i can say tat the conversation was rather interesting. ok. so ya. we discussed and talked and then left! yea. i went home, got changed and went out to little india to meet my family for break fast, the bloody indian curry damn shiok! esp the fish head curry. haha. yea so had dinner at some restaurant there it was reali reali good. ok so im abt to slp now. tmr got work! haiya. sian! gtg then. chao!

well. over the past few days, it was tirin! on sat, we had to get up early for practice, starts at 9 and i din slp well on tat day. heavy eyes and tired fingers we headed down to town for practice as usual. aft which, we slpt at my studio cos we were reali reali tired and we din reali wanna head to anywhere so we slpt there. was a weird exp but at least we got the slp needed. on sunday, manage to slp till abt 4, i was still tired but we had to clean the hse, hari raya's comin...

today, got up at 9! and actually i had my Mt class but i cuden make it in time, so i cancelled it. wen 4 the AUT crap agn, freakin bored lecture, was tryin my best to stay awake! oh well.

now tat im home, im gonna slp, yea. so if any of u are readin this in the afternoon, well i'll b slpin soon. haha. ah wat the crap. jus wait for me to come online tonight. haha,