I guess there are just some things in which i cannot express in words. So many thoughts, so many feelings pushed through the veins so sudden that I can’t hold on, but how am I supposed to when I’m weak?
I’m lost for words to describe my anger and pain. It is just heart wrenching to make a decision to which I know is irreversible, a decision that would decide my life and how it will be impossible to turn it back when I realize I had picked the wrong one. It’s a scar made, that would burn deep into my skin, scarring me with the sins that I had committed in which I would always remember for life.
The memories and moments that I share would now seem distant. Not entirely possible to find a solution but every time a problem surfaces, is it possible to solve it?
But how many problems can be solved through solutions in which we think can be solved by? No one will know until of course they try to solve it on their own. But then again, will there be a solution for all problems?
Now the problem has once again been surfaced, now that I am no longer affected greatly by it, I know how it feels to be hurt. To go through the pain once again is like taking a bath every day. The desire to keep pushing on and holding is there but is my body willing to take more of it? Is the torture a burning desire for more? Or is it just another signal in which I should give up? No one can answer that, only I have the answer to that question.
Why do we choose giving up as the easiest way out? Why not find reasons to resolve the pain that’s scarring me? Why not look for opportunities in which I can open up to. But no! I choose neither. I choose to believe that I am the solution to my problems. I choose to think that no one can help me but myself.
“Why am I doing this?” this question keeps coming back, haunting me like a restless ghost. I can feel the pain from everyone, but does everyone feel mine? Am I lost for words in which I cannot say to all? Am I the only one able to decide what future I want it to be? Or do I need a follower, a companion with me?
Do I walk alone? I never will walk alone. My decision is made. And I am standing my ground on it. It’s about time I took a side. It’s about time I decide that my life would be shared by someone. But who is this person?
The answer lies deep in my heart. Only the true one will unlock the answer that’s locked deep down in my heart! <3

Sometimes even the most simplest form of happiness can turn nasty with even the slightest problem arising that are just far worse than having than having someone stabbing you in the back.

I just loved the idea that I can’t possibly find out who I really am. I can be as funny as the rabbit dancing on the stone bucket or a boring soul that wanders through the streets with no direction.

This is ME! I am what my parents had made me to be. Friends and the environment that I express my feelings to are just places in which my character develops. Where did I get this idea? Well, it came from a-FREAKINGLY-long profiling questions that I had to do earlier today. I really find it a bore when you have to find out what your true personality really is, but I don’t really mind doing it because it is rather interesting in discovering who I really am!

I like one idea of being allowed to unfold that lost soul beneath the under-lying stretchable suit which I was born with but to finally know who you are and what you are capable of is another question yet to be answered. Why do people have so many different kinds of feelings and character? Why aren’t we all born with the same feeling that everyone can feel together? These are all un-answered questions which I would rather not dwell too much on. It gives the brain a rest day if I may!

Oh well, blog has been updated and I am feeling a little happy that had gone on for the day. Well, not for the part where the facilitator got bullied by my class but rather happy that I know myself and I know how to improve clearly. Anyway, PPP, if any of you are reading this, PLEASE JOIN THE SPORTS CAMP!! It will be different without the whole lot of you!