Well im finally back to blog about the shit ass life that ive jus been through. Hmm it wasn’t reali as bad as I thought it be but yea it was ok, jus got back from a freaking holiday at Pangkor, an island off Perak somewhere in Malaysia.

The ride to and fro was tiring but heck, the fun came when we were on the island. This is by far the 1st trip ever to have all my dad’s relatives together for a holiday, it was a fucking BIG family, consisting of 26 ppl. Haha. The bus we took had seats for 27 so we jus nice occupied everything. Haha. So on the island we rented 10bikes and 2cars and of course them most of us were riders only those little cousins and nephews of mine were in the car. Damn if you were to there to observe on how we rode u’d be surprised to see the large group. Plus since we were mostly made of teens and some of our uncle including my dad still had that teen mindset, haha, we were literally causing nuisance there. Esp me and my cousins. Haha. All jokers and crazy riders, to the pt where accidents happened quite frequently.

I got myself into some shit on the 1st day, haha, the cornering was quite sharp and since there was on-coming traffic I din have time to actually move away from it so I ended up turning into the woods. Haha. Din fall so it was alright. My bro however wasn’t as lucky as me. Haha. He was cornering and happened there were sands there on tat part of the road, skidded and fell. Hehe. My cousin that was his pillion was lucky to jump out before he was taken down by the accident. Oh well, I had 2 more accidents which happened at corners as well, if you realize most accidents happened at corners.

Other than riding we had other fun too, like those water sport games. Which ended up in accidents too. Well, I can say that when you’re out wif cousins who have the same crazy mentality as you, anything can happen! Haha. There was this ride where a wicked accident happened it was fun at the start but when all crashed into the sea, we finally saw what damage it could do. Hanif, my cousin and my brother’s friend syafiq crashed together and the injury after that was bad, the impact was soooo great that hanif’s tooth was loosened and had a split lips which had to be stitched. There were two holes actually which blood literally gushed out like nobody’s business. It was a cool sight to watch it flow out especially the part where he tried squeezing his lips together and u can see the blood literally squirt out. Hee. Oh and syafiq wasn’t as bad as his, he jus had a punctured skull from hanif’s tooth collision but was so deep so it din effect much. There were blood flowing but it was jus a bit and it stopped at night.

Overall, after that ride ended, it was bloody incident. I had a sore tongue and a bitten lip which has ulcers now. Irritating but yea, it was fun. Haha, oh and I went tanning too, which ended up in sunburn now. Haha. Fuck but hell yea, it was cool!

Too bad it ended quite early, or rather the trip was short. And I din have time to shop!  I wanted to but I keep forgetting cos I was occupied with riding the bike. Oh well, now I have some money left but dunno what to do wif it.

And I miss my friends but recently I din reali have time for them esp someone. Seems like I’ve grown a strange distance from her ever since the start of school and I guess its true that it takes two hands to clap. Its funny when you try and do smth but doesn’t seems to see any improvement it sucks but that’s how life is like rite?

I wanna give up on everything but I cant, I jus dun have the decision to do so. In fact that’s the fucking weakness with me, I jus let everything come to me. Go with the flow, heard of that line rite? Well yea, I am lyk that, flow guy.

Anyway, I miss you. And I seriously wished I taken the step in doing so, but I guess, I’m too late, slow in waiting for the right moment which flew pass without me even realizing.

It is at this moment that I know I let it slipped by….

It’s the start of the fucking school term, and weirdly I did enjoy my school holidays. But it was still funny, I din expect it to be so short, neither too long. It seemed balanced and yet it wasn’t enough.

So many things happened during that two weeks, I din have time to blog about what happened during my day and night, but in short, I have been sleeping later than usual and waking up earlier than expected.

I have many friends, and I guess two weeks is not enough to help me meet all my friends that I know, sucks to have so many friends but sadly if I lost everyone then I’d rather have no time to meet them than have no friends.

Anyway, 1st week was spent with my RP mates and the 2nd mostly spent with friends of the past and from work, so that roughly covers all my 50+ friends that I hang closely with.

Thinking back about the pass isn’t an ideal thing to do but sometimes, I do feel hurt and sad whenever I think back how my life was spent, wasted by those who lead me astray. I never understood why I got myself into situations like that, is it because I have an ego in which everyone would admire, or was it mere child’s play to think it was cool to be a part of them. I guess memories are sure hard to forget, I never liked the idea of having to be a part with them, because it was them who partly made me who I am right now, it’s hard to accept that I did change a lot, a change in which I lost ALOT of friends but gained a few. Not knowing what I was doing now I realize the change in me wasn’t a good one, but I can’t help it, it’s hard for me to change but I have to, for friends sake, parents and for most of all MY SAKE!

It’s true being who I am can be cocky and arrogant but still, I dunno how else to portray myself, because for years I have been like this, a born leader with a rough attitude, it’s hard to work with me, I know but what else am I to do?

Love is sometimes in the air, and love is definitely a mystery! I din expect my life to be so weird, but after all, that’s what my friends tell me, including my parents. They said that’s how life can be, weird and always unpredictable. The guys are always on the losing end, that’s love by the way. Girls always have the final say in everything! That seriously sucks but can’t help it. Oh well, I’m still waiting for the right moment to happen, I am counting down my opportunities and soon it will slowly come to slow end.

How to do this is by saying that I only want one girl! That girl knows who she is….

Enough of that, I’m kinda tired with my life, I wanna end it soon but what good does it make? I’m leaving so many people behind and I can’t afford to leave everyone in the ditch so its not time yet but how do I know when will it be?

ONLY GOD KNOWS THIS ANSWER…..

You know, I came to realize that when we're a teenager, we tend to skip the most treasurable moment of our childhood life.

Today, I just when through a whole series of emotional events since morning till now. Its reali mind boggling and pressurising but its ok we need a few of these things to get pass life.

What i realize as i mentioned earlier is that sometimes as a teen we gotta look back at our younger childhood days, its hard for some to do so, let alone realize how much they’ve changed for the past few years.

I have to admit, I jus looked through my younger pics, and I am actually quite sad of the way life has turned out for me. Of the person I’ve become right now. The kid that I once knew is know no longer that same boy that everyone knows. I dun reali know wats become of me, is money the whole issue surrounding life or is life actually surrounding money? Im not sure, and I don’t intend to find out the truth about this. Its hard to accept the fact that I’ve changed, its even harder to face the truth that lies behind everything that our parents has done for us. I mean, guys being fucking ego-istic is indeed a BIG factor behind realizing truth from fantasies. I lost a reali great friend thanks to greediness and selfishness, but in losing that one true friend I realize that there are many others out there that are the same, but not as compared to the one I lost.

Opportunities come and go, its time I take a lead in which path I want to grow into. A path in which I can decide who to walk with and who to forget about, I am a born leader, but a leader with no real brains to lead properly. Ive let a lot of ppl down and ive lost a lot of frens. I dun blame anyone or anything but I blame solely on myself. IF I cant even hang on to a 16 wk relationship then I dun think im worth being called a leader. Indeed the followers of the group sees the results but what about the obstacles, do they see how a leader suffers before becoming an all rounder leader?

It’s time I step up, ive been sitting in the dark for far too long now, my time is almost ready. I hear my name being called up. I see my followers looking up to me for directions and instructions. I see my enemies staring coldly at me.

Life is all about leading. My generals are newly born, they are still new and young, inexperience to read what the enemies are thinking, but I am sure that these generals are have great potential and they can fight without having me to aid them much in battle. I have a queen by my side, a great leader to the pack, and I daresay she’s pretty awesome in her decisions. And sometimes, I feel she’s inferior to me, a mother to them and a sister to me.

I am going to rise like the angel from the ashes, my paths are clear for me and my followers and I know what they want, what they strive for. Teenagers who deal their life by playing all day and “enjoying”, I salute you and say, “To hell with your life, motherfuckers!” while those occupying it with stuffs to improve their strengths and qualities, congrats.

Finally I wanna end off by saying this, its not how we portray our life to be but how we want it to be. I guess there are certain things better left unsaid then to have it being told.

I just love the sound of music. It makes me go wheeee!

Well, nothing much really happened recently, although this heavy burden on my chest is finally gone, I feel kinda light and happy. I'm not sure why but i do feel that sometimes if i take a lot of things seriously then maybe I'll land myself into loads of trouble.

Hah! But who cares? That's what life really is ain't it? To take risks and see how it goes. Like normally the brain usually picks the easiest possible solution out from a problem, but I wonder, if we keep taking these solutions, wont we learn nothing from it? Hmm, but there are people who does this, and yea, guess they wont get far from it.

Oh and did I freaking mention that the national soccer team coach actually called me down for trials with the team? Damn! I haven trained in months and my skills are rather rusty, I'm not so freaking sure if I can do it. haha. but its worth a shot, I mean, NATIONAL TEAM! haha.

And and, its freakingly awesome to know that I'm actually thinking about someone right now. I think she knows who she is, but haha, maybe. I like playing games :p

Ah i'm beginning to crap, dunno why, must be the tired-ness kicking in badly, but Im kinda feeling reali cool, meeting up with my long time fren, chris, and finally i get to see the fucker. haha. For your info ppl im not GAY! I'm after a GIRL if you guys need proof. haha.

Fuck la, i hurt my stupid knee oso. Bro's reali a good cyclist noe, can cycle cycle then made me hit the stupid lamp post. Thanks ah Fendy! Knn, now the thing throbbing like one mother, haha.

Powerpac, I jus recieved a call from boss that I finally got the freaking green light to present plan and woohoo! Becoming manager soon, haha!

Hmm, how does Mr. Eddy sound? weird, style? aiya, who cares, got the MISTER in front can ready, and of course not forgetting my darling downlines, im gonna help them climb the ladder with me! haha.

Oh Lion, the blazer i swear fucking shiok! now no need waste money make new one. haha. oh oh, collecting my tailored shirt and pants soon!

MAN!!! My life is great! Just that, i'm missing someone in it....

1) What do you want the most now?
- my heart yearns for someone now.

2) Who is the person you trust most?
- i'm not so sure about this....

3) Who do you think of yourself?
- Zacky Vengeance

4) Do you believe in love?
- duhh, then why are there so many ppl in the world?

5) What's your goal this year?
- Basically to have like 100k in my bank and to make my dream girl the happiest
on earth.

6) Do you believe in eternity?
- Depending on what la, if love mayb, life nah, friendship yes!

7) If you have a dream to come true, what is it?
- Living life of the rich and the famous!

8) Have you broken someone's heart till he/she wants to commit suicide?
- Yeah, but she didn't die! phew...

9) What feelings do you love most?
- Seeing someone happy and being loved by me :)

10) What feeling do you hate most?
- Being pushed around like a dog!

11) Do you cherish every friendship?
- Only some, and you guys out there should noe

12) What do you want to do in the future?
- Travel the world with my partner :)

13) What are your requirements from your other half?
- kinda personal and long to list out, but basically close to perfection!

14) What is the most important thing in life?
- love and care

15) Who do you hope to be always there for you?
- anyone who can help me out.

16) When do you think the world will end?
- when animals start talking and when Singapore start to have snow!

there!

Im done with the quiz haha! Not gonna attached the names, because I'm too darn lazy to tag their posts. haha. anyway have fun reading people, + all the ans came straight from the heart!