well, cant help it. been going thru a rough time badly and sadly truths can really really hurt although it aint you that's been the one that has to go thru it. well, just had a recent chat with a close friend and my word, when the truth came out, it was really bad and now i know why it was hard to let it out in the 1st place.
well, people change for the better or the worst but i mean, to have it done is not a mistake nor an intention. hard to guess which is wrong and which is right but i guess its the life of different individual and i should have reacted appropriately and not like an idiot who thinks that it was okay.
well, on fighting terms again and i guess before she forgives u gotta show whether im up for it or not. firstly i forced it out and secondly i did promise not to judge but it went the wrong way and not as intended too as we liked it to be.
I'M DEFINITELY HOLDING ON.
with whatever that means, but yea, im kinda savouring whatever that's left of us and to begin with, it wasn't even planned for as couple but why the persistence in fighting on for what may seem to be plain fantasy?
Its a curious thing that how we beings actually hoped for but never happened.
Well, i guess i just have to wait. if only she knew how i felt and how ignorant i'd be but i guess that wouldn't change much of a difference now would it?
So far, training has been okay for me, funny people turned up at the stadium and cool people too. Just that now i feel its time i fight for a place. and wait, before that i have to freaking pass this fitness test before i can even think about fighting for a place.
Bummer, this year started out badly for me. never did i intend to lose so much. Never did i intend to see someone go down badly and never had i intended to put someone in a difficult position.
Im full of surprises in which my surprises causes me to create my own curiosity and disbelief.
I seriously wish for better days.
and the time for wishing should really begin right now...
eddysrah♥
