Attention ALL

So UT was an easy way through the whole time, class was fine and the greatest thing of all was work. Work could never have been as interesting as it could possibly be. I never thought work could be so competitive and sales target yesterday would be to raise 7k by 1030pm! which was virtually impossible. But okay, we manage to raise about 5k or so and yesterday was never a problem with the counter, cos usually i have problems there. But okay, yesterday's was the first time that I pulled through the counter! Well, supervisor still a pain in the ass. And if time will to come, I hope he'll be lying in some threshold covered up in his own blood. That's how much hate I have for him.

So far, I've been quite happy with all that's around me, though some friends are really missed and some of my close buddies are now seemed lost in time. But there are still news here and there that they are still meeting up occasionally and sometimes i am just too caught up with my commitments I just don't have time for them. Well, all I can be honest to myself is that although I still miss them and wished we were still the old fags in school up to nonsenses that we love doing and running from DMs just to keep that thrill in, but we all know, its time to move on and get on with life. I love the thought about my new life now. Having fun with my girlfriend, thinking of ways to damn each other with weird comments and challenges. Thinking that everyday would be the same but no, it was always different.

Which then leads me to this. I woke up this morning to the feeling of guilt, a sense of responsibility that I should be the putting my feet forward but instead pulled it back because of complacency but however, it all just started, I believe to be downright my fault. No fingers pointing at anyone, I blame myself for all the late-comings and no encouragement for improvement. I cannot say much but all I can say is that every problem has its solution.

So lunch felt very funny today, 2 different groups but when we were together, I sense a different you. A you in which I knew something was wrong but seeing the smile on your face makes everything blissful again, but deep down, we both know there's no hiding from that truth of feeling down.

No topics, no arguments, no looking forward to anything but what we felt, I believe, would be the same, an emptiness that we both are feeling right now. Maybe it takes two hands to clap in order to get things right or is just a one-sided party that needs to buck up?

I don't really know what's going on. I just know now as time improves, my feelings are very fragile all of a sudden. I do feel that something needs to be done sooner or later it wouldn't be as effective as before. I need that body next to me, I need that warmth again that I love feeling of, but how late or how early would I feel it again I dunno.

Guys, I miss you and if you are reading this I need your help once again.

Baby, I'm sorry for not pushing you to improve. No words can tell you now that I miss you and your smiles.

~time won't heal that scar, only you can~

eddy