Irritatingly, I woke up to a day where fever, headaches and body aches all came at once just to make me feel so depressed about the thursday feeling. Well, today's suppose to be the day where me and babygirl would meet. Today's the only day where i can get to see her as long as i like but in the end, i had to stay at home and rest -.-!! bummer...pffft!
Well, i woke up, fever gone but headache's still killing me so babygirl told me to go see a doc to get it settled, i did but along the way, i almost blacked out. Scary feeling and i told babygirl about this and she got worried, so she told me to wait for her to come instead and accompanied me to see the doctor. Sweet ain't she? hehe.♥♥♥
OKay, so after the appointment went straight back to my place where she could look after me and see how i was doing. Ah well, instead of looking after me, she indulge in herself with the movie confession of a shopaholic and left me there to sleep. :(
well, i couldn't of course just go to sleep like that cos its just plain rude when u have guest around, so i stayed up and tried to accompany her instead. Well, i had aches in my body and i asked her for a massage but she only said she lazy and would do it after the show. So...sad as i can get, i let her be, while i did my own thing, which is to try and sleep.
Frustration then got the better of me, she's like movie-ing happily, me just finds all the pains really frustrating, i wanna tell her about it but i'd noe she would just tell me to rest. How can u rest when there's a lot of pain???
Sighh...know smth, nowadays i am scared. Nowadays i feel very empty, very shallow, like no life to it. I am scared to say things to her, knowing how she would feel and react after that makes me scared. I respect her a lot and I dunno if she does the same to me. I feel at times left out, she with all the happiness and me just lonesome and fearful.
I dun really know what im afraid of or why i get this feeling recently. Is it because of the latest happenings and no one to actually talk to about? Or is it just my mind giving me a lot of racketing and it just cant shut up.
I feel there's something amiss recently but i cant point the finger at it. Maybe it's me. I dunno. I just need to shout at something or someone, but that voice dun really wanna come out. there's a block inside of me which i wanna get rid off but cant.
I miss the times we shared dear, but have we gone off and now Im lost? I dunno, time heals, and time tells, but do i have time?
I just wanna be quiet and not say a thing or two. Because every time i make a decision, it just doesn't have that sweet taste. Something's wrong but I dunno. Help me if you can....
I miss you and your love babygirl.
I miss ♥Syahirah♥ a lot....!
:(
eddysrah♥
