hmm, so Ramadhan has finally set forth and here we muslims are fasting for a month and after that, it's celebrations day in day out! hahah. But to be honest, I'm really enjoyin this month cos it seems, not doing anything in the day but sleeping and waking up to pray, its quite fun to get by the days. Not much of a challenge eh ;)

Haha. but anyway, I am now hereby, declared, a qualified first aid-er. Why? Because, i went to take up the first aid course and apparently, passed that thing and now for 3 years, i can do first aid. But not like it matters anyway cos somehow, the idea of people suddenly fainting on the street and needing CPR is not really happening everyday now does it? :D

So what HAVE i been doing really lately? Hmm, lets see, I get up at 2 in the morning, take my bike up to yishun, meet my frens there, and then come back home for sahur, then sleep my way to buka and then nap again. So basically that's my life. Hmm, not much of a life but yeah, I would say its really good, relaxing!

Oh, and I kinda miss the boys from 755 and the times we had. Haha, oh well, thanks to a private info, I realized that a certain someone doesn't want me arnd them anymore. Oh well, sometimes you lose frens and you gain them. Doesn't matter. anyway. Memories are fun to have, and I've learned to not hang or cling or fight for smth which no one would like you to have.

Hmm, I have this problem now at the back of my mind and for 3days in a row, im actually dreaming about her! NO, not a new girl but my ex. Yeah, she's been appearing and reappearing for 3days now and the feelings are rather perplexed. The 1st day i rmb was me and her like the old times, sharing funny jokes and laughters as usual at our happy places, the 2nd day was different, it was us kinda fighting in the dream and she becoming different, in a way, she's turning into who she is NOW. The third day was more of us going our separate ways, she hand-in-hand with a shadow and me just watching them go. Well, I would say its like a summary of my r/s with her. Haha! But it came in 3 days back-to-back. And to be honest, I dun noe why the dreams came back but all I know is that my feelings for her are a secret. :P

If questioned if I am happy this way, I would say, that too is a secret. No matter. I gotta get ready now. Gonna head somewhere cheerful soon and hopefully I can get over her. I mean, to be honest, the r/s was more of drastic change than things falling apart.

I always believe that if you keep making the same mistakes, it just means no one's trying to make amendments and the problem lingers. Well, I am not stubborn; I just feel that my ideas are always better than YOURS! ;)

Take care people. that's the story of how my life has gone on. It sucks but I love you still :(

No, i wont try to hide it, I wont try to say it too. But honestly, I didn't want you to club. I dunno why the sudden surge of anger and hate but hey, if i cared for you would you believe?

Its never easy being around you, its never easy to see you again and again. One's happiness is another's sadness. That's the fact. You're happy im not, but what can I do? NOTHING apparently.

OK fine, you have your ways of dealing things I dun think I have mine. Right, you're mad at me, I dunno what to say. Let's put it this way that I not only cared but its this feeling that I can't let out or describe at all.

Right again, that YOU'RE-ALL-SO-GREAT! I cant seem to piece things tgt now as I did last time. I know, I've done a great deal to hurt you. But why am I still hurting even after when there's nothing left? :(

Confession: I didn't wanna be part of your birthday surprise, but I was invited to, not by you but by you-know-who. Reason being, its the least I could do. And one more thing, I didn't join cos I know, I'm not worthy of such things from you any more. Plus like i said, I'd rather hide the feelings now than show it. Cos it doesn't make any more sense to me.

I'm sorry but things are rather difficult for me, I'd hope you come back, but it's not hope that I'll be living on any more. But just a mere fantasy already.

yeah, i know i've missed you. But what they hell? Why cant I tell you that I am?

When i look at you, I get cold, when I look at I shiver.
Why?? It's hard.

This all happened after the accident. I dunno, maybe I'm thinking too much.

Perhaps I still have feelings for you. :(